So Many Things To Do Because I Never Do Them

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Unpublished from May 4, 2018:

I should be:

  • Buying supplies and staining the deck
  • Cleaning the garage
  • Vacuuming the basement
  • Writing a recommendation for a colleague
  • Getting my code into GIT
  • Documenting my database design
  • Fixing the time display for my app
  • Walking the dogs
  • Scheduling my car recall to be fixed
  • Scheduling a fence consultation
  • Planning vacation
  • Creating a product roadmap
  • Etc.

Never is not accurate. Some of this will get done. Walking the dogs I’m actually really consistent – nearly every day for 45 minutes. Other items have been on the “should do” list for months or years.

But am I doing these high priority tasks right now? No! I’m typing up this post instead. Granted, blogging is on the list too, but not the priority.

Why am I not doing the others?

I really do not know. Some of the things on that list would normally be more enjoyable to me than what I’m doing now.

I think if there’s any reason for it, it’s simply self sabotage. It’s like one part of me is just obstinately against whatever the deciding faculty has set as the direction. The only thing I really feel is that I don’t want to do the higher priority items because they were set as high priority.

Does setting them as high priority make them “work” that’s negative instead of “fun”?

I know what I’m doing right now. I’m onto you, Self. I’m just wasting time until it’s late enough that I’m tired and it’s time to go to sleep. Then I will feel bad, but I’ll plan to get an early start tomorrow to make up for all the time I wasted today.

Except when tomorrow comes, I won’t appreciate what my past self did to my current self. And I’ll once again either waste the day or do something fun but not productive.

I will slowly chip away at the list. But it will take so much longer and be much more mental effort than it should be.

OK. Future Self, this is for you. I’m getting up and tackling the list.

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